Lucid Dreaming is a powerful skill for making changes in yourself and your life. Also known as conscious dreaming, a lucid dream is one in which you are aware you are dreaming. Your body is asleep but your mind is awake and aware. When you are in the lucid dream state, you can actively participate in and manipulate the dream.

The benefits of lucid dreaming are many. As you develop the ability to lucid dream the quality of your sleep will be better. It will be deeper and more restful, and as a result, you will require less sleep overall. One reason is that material that has gone unprocessed from your day or from the past gets worked out in the dreamtime. In the lucid dream state you will gain access to your subconscious mind and be able to work with the material presented to you in a conscious way. You can resolve personal issues and generate solutions to life situations rapidly and with deep effects because you are already working at the level of the subconscious mind where real change occurs.

In addition, you will find that lucid dreaming enhances your intuitive and psychic abilities. The conscious mind uses language as its main means for communicating. The subconscious mind uses the language of symbolic imagery. By practicing being aware in the dream state you develop the ability to be able to read these symbolic messages. Over time, the experience of flashes of insight increases in the waking state along with a greater understanding of these insights because the practice has created a clearer line of communication between your conscious and subconscious mind. As a result, you will function more optimally with intuitive flashes and insights becoming much more a part of your daily life.

To begin lucid dreaming, the first thing is to start remembering your dreams. This is done by keeping a dream journal. Buy a notebook and a pen to keep a record of your dreams and place it by your bed at night. Before you go to sleep, take a minute, and repeat a clear and strong statement of intention to yourself several times, “I will remember at least two dreams by the time I wake up.” This statement of intention is the first communication with your subconscious mind to set up the agreement that you are ready to begin remembering your dreams. As you drift off to sleep, trust that when you awaken you will remember your dreams in the morning.

When you wake up, stay in bed for a few minutes in the dreamy drowsy state known as the hypnogogic state, and with your eyes still closed, try and recall anything you can from the night before. Anything. Whatever it is, even if it is a vague recollection, write it down. If you don’t remember anything that’s fine. Simply, continue the process and you will find that each morning you will remember more. If you remember something during the course of the day make a notation and include it in your dream journal when you get home. When you record your dreams, refrain from analyzing them as you write them down. Just write down whatever comes to you and as much as you can remember. By the end of a few weeks you will be recalling a great deal of dream material.

The second step is done during waking hours. Go through your dream journal and find some event or imagery that repeats itself. Make sure it’s also something that happens to you in your waking life. Pick one of the repeated elements of your dream and whenever you experience that same thing in your waking life, stop and ask yourself, “Am I dreaming?”

For example, if you see your hands in your dreams then throughout the course of your day look at your hands and ask yourself the question, “Am I dreaming?” As another example, if you find that you walk through doorways in your dreams then whenever you walk through a doorway in your waking life touch the door jamb and ask, “Am I dreaming?” This sets up an anchor for remembering. At some point, you will have a dream and, as you see your hands or walk through a doorway or whatever it is you choose to remember, you will reflexively ask the question, “Am I dreaming?” This time the answer will be ‘yes’, and, chances are, that you will find yourself suddenly awake inside the dream!

When you are awake inside the dream you can begin to watch the dream unfold. As you remain in the lucid state you can begin to change and manipulate the dream in different ways. In the beginning, you will be awake and watching the dream like a movie, but over time you will find that you possess greater and greater ability to control the dream and the way it unfolds. Eventually, you will be able to choose what you want to dream and can even begin dreaming about events of the day or of your past where you can change the outcome in ways that serve your highest fulfillment. Changing these events from your day or your past to outcomes that you desire will have a positive effect on your psyche, sense of well-being and self-mastery. You will be reprogramming your subconscious mind to accept the best possible solution or response to an issue or situation and it will make the appropriate changes in your subconscious. You will find that it has a dramatic effect on your waking life, as well. As you become very good at lucid dreaming you can even take future events into the dreamtime and work with them so the outcomes manifest in the way you desire!

Have fun, practice well, and we’ll see you in the dreamtime!

MEDITATION & THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE WEEKEND SEMINAR
A result oriented and transformative workshop that will take you to the pace of deep meditation and the threshold of the out of body experience… all in one exciting weekend!

Day One: Learn to experience a deep state of meditation that normally takes meditators years to achieve. Listening to scientifically proven brain technology from the Monroe Institute, you will create the same brain wave activity of an expert meditator in minutes, and learn to fully explore this profound state of mind. Also, you will be given the five most important techniques for experiencing the benefits of total relaxation, focus, clarity of mind, and blissful expanded states of consciousness that are available during deep meditation. In the first day you will learn how to:

• Meditate like an expert.
• Achieve profound states of Relaxation and Awareness.
• Sense and work with Subtle Energies like Chi.
• Sense and See Auras and Energy Fields.

Day Two: You will build upon the experiences of day one as you learn practical methods for Lucid Dreaming, and begin exploring the out of body state known as OBE or astral travel. In a series of guided exercise, you will learn the most successful techniques for having an OBE, as well as, the different types of OBEs that are possible. You will also learn the easiest and most powerful methods for perceiving and working with subtle energies for greater awareness and healing. After each exercise, you will have the opportunity journal your experiences and share with others in positive and empowering group setting. In the second day you will learn how to:

• Sense and work with your Energy Body.
• Communicate with your Higher Self.
• Lucid Dream.
• Learn to have an Out Of Body Experience.

Experience is the key to transformation. We look forward to seeing you there!

When & Where: May 16-17 Ojai, CA      Price: $299

Doc Barham, of Full Spectrum Coaching, will be the trainer. He is a professional coach, consultant, speaker, trainer and author. He is a certified clinical hypnotherapist, NLP master practitioner, BCIA certified Neurofeedback clinician, Reiki master and Chi Gong practitioner. He is also a trainer for the Institute Of Heartmath and The Monroe Institute. Doc is a recognized expert and authority on the psychology and methodologies for personal awakening and transformation.

For more information or to register call 310 883-3994 or email docbarham@gmail.com

Meditation is the single greatest practice you can take up for changing your life. There is a long list of benefits to be enjoyed from the regular engagement of meditation. In fact, here 100 of the wonderful benefits of meditation for mind, body and spirit.

Physiological benefits:
1- It lowers oxygen consumption.
2- It decreases respiratory rate.
3- It increases blood flow and slows the heart rate.
4- Increases exercise tolerance.
5- Leads to a deeper level of physical relaxation.
6- Good for people with high blood pressure.
7- Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
8- Decreases muscle tension
9- Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis etc.
10- Reduces Pre-menstrual Syndrome symptoms.
11- Helps in post-operative healing.
12- Enhances the immune system.
13- Reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress
14- Enhances energy, strength and vigour.
15- Helps with weight loss
16- Reduction of free radicals, less tissue damage
17- Higher skin resistance
18- Drop in cholesterol levels, lowers risk of cardiovascular disease.
19- Improved flow of air to the lungs resulting in easier breathing.
20- Decreases the aging process.
21- Higher levels of DHEAS (Dehydroepiandrosterone)
22- prevented, slowed or controlled pain of chronic diseases
23- Makes you sweat less
24- Cure headaches & migraines
25- Greater Orderliness of Brain Functioning
26- Reduced Need for Medical Care
27- Less energy wasted
28- More inclined to sports, activities
29- Significant relief from asthma
30- improved performance in athletic events
31- Normalizes to your ideal weight
32- harmonizes our endocrine system
33- relaxes our nervous system
34- produce lasting beneficial changes in brain electrical activity
35- Cure infertility (the stresses of infertility can interfere with the release of hormones that regulate ovulation).

Psychological benefits:
36- Builds self-confidence.
37- Increases serotonin level, influences mood and behaviour.
38- Resolve phobias & fears
39- Helps control own thoughts
40- Helps with focus & concentration
41- Increase creativity
42- Increased brain wave coherence.
43- Improved learning ability and memory.
44- Increased feelings of vitality and rejuvenation.
45- Increased emotional stability.
46- improved relationships
47- Mind ages at slower rate
48- Easier to remove bad habits
49- Develops intuition
50- Increased Productivity
51- Improved relations at home & at work
52- Able to see the larger picture in a given situation
53- Helps ignore petty issues
54- Increased ability to solve complex problems
55- Purifies your character
56- Develop will power
57- greater communication between the two brain hemispheres
58- react more quickly and more effectively to a stressful event.
59- increases one’s perceptual ability and motor performance
60- higher intelligence growth rate
61- Increased job satisfaction
62- increase in the capacity for intimate contact with loved ones
63- decrease in potential mental illness
64- Better, more sociable behaviour
65- Less aggressiveness
66- Helps in quitting smoking, alcohol addiction
67- Reduces need and dependency on drugs, pills & pharmaceuticals
68- Need less sleep to recover from sleep deprivation
69- Require less time to fall asleep, helps cure insomnia
70- Increases sense of responsibility
71- Reduces road rage
72- Decrease in restless thinking
73- Decreased tendency to worry
74- Increases listening skills and empathy
75- Helps make more accurate judgements
76- Greater tolerance
77- Gives composure to act in considered & constructive ways
78- Grows a stable, more balanced personality
79- Develops emotional maturity

Spiritual benefits:
80- Helps keep things in perspective
81- Provides peace of mind, happiness
82- Helps you discover your purpose
83- Increased self-actualization.
84- Increased compassion
85- Growing wisdom
86- Deeper understanding of yourself and others
87- Brings body, mind, spirit in harmony
88- Deeper Level of spiritual relaxation
89- Increased acceptance of oneself
90- helps learn forgiveness
91- Changes attitude toward life
92- Creates a deeper relationship with your God
93- Attain enlightenment
94- greater inner-directedness
95- Helps living in the present moment
96- Creates a widening, deepening capacity for love
97- Discovery of the power and consciousness beyond the ego
98- Experience an inner sense of “Assurance or Knowingness”
99- Experience a sense of “Oneness”
100- Increases the synchronicity in your life

With thanks to Frederic Premji

When it comes to manifesting, intention is everything. Truly powerful intention is composed of three main qualities: focus, attitude, and energy. The difference between people who successfully manifest their desires and those who don’t has to do with their intention and these three qualities. When you have a clear intention that is focused with a positive attitude and is charged with a high amount of energy then your intentions will manifest in a way that is in alignment with your stated desire.

The following is a very powerful process for manifesting your desire.

Here are the steps for creating a clear and powerful intention

Step 1: Focus: Remember, ‘Reality’ is what you attend to. Your energy flows where your attention goes. A clear intention starts with your attention being focused on exactly what you want. Focused like a laser. Begin by using your imagination to create a brightly colored and clear picture or movie in your head of your desire. Make it as real as possible. See it, hear it, feel it. Keep the vision of your intention in your mind as much as possible. Refer back to it throughout the course of your day.

To support you in remembering, find pictures that represent your desire and match them as closely as possible with the picture or movie in your head. Place these images around you in as many locations as possible so you will see them and be frequently reminded to stay focused on manifesting your intended outcome. You can place them around your house, your office, your car, etc.

Along with your clear picture, create and write out a Statement Of Intent. Make sure that it is short, powerfully stated, positive and in the present tense, as if it is already happening. It is best to start the sentence with “I AM.” Write it out on index cards, Post It Notes , etc. and place it in the same locations as your pictures. Make this Statement Of Intent your mantra. Memorize it and repeat it to yourself throughout the day as you visualize your focused intention. As you repeat it to yourself or out loud make sure to see the images in your mind’s eye, as well.

Make sure as you gather your images and create your Statement Of Intent that you have thought through what you want in every possible way. Be certain that there is no part of you that does not want what you are intending. If any part of you is unprepared for the changes that you will it will act as an impediment to manifesting your desire the way you want.

Once all parts of you are in alignment with your intention for manifestation you are ready to move on to the next step.

Step 2: Attitude: Your attitude is your overall conviction about your intended manifestation. It is the combination of the feelings you have about your ability to manifest your desire, as well as, the feelings you have about what you wish to manifest. It is more than just moment to moment fluctuating emotion but a continuous background feeling of positive certainty in your ability to achieve. While your focus is the image and statement of what you want, your attitude is the power behind it. If you have chosen images and created a statement that truly resonates with you at a deep level you will be able to feel it and you will already have gone a long way toward setting the the right attitude. In turn, the more positive and empowering you can make your attitude the greater the effect it will have in charging your intention and inspiring your action taken to achieve your desired manifestation.

Think about what emotions and feelings you would like to load into your attitude.  Confidence, acceptance, excitement, joy, and gratitude are all examples of very highly charged, positive emotions and feelings that will help to create a powerful attitude. Whatever you choose, if you don’t already have them as part of your attitude, you can always go and get them in the memory bank of your experience and by using your imagination.

Write down the emotions and feelings that are already part of your attitude. Now write down the additional emotions and feelings that you would like to include in your attitude. Choose one emotion or feeling from the list to work on. Now remember a time when you felt that emotion or feeling very strongly. Continue holding that emotion or feeling until you can feel it load up fully into your body and mind. See if you can turn it up so you can feel it even more deeply. Now think about your intention for manifestation. Repeat this several times until you can feel the emotion becoming a part of your attitude. If you use this simple technique you can create any attitude you like. It only takes the repetition of practice. Do it till you get it.

Once you have designed and created the attitude you desire  to power your focused intention for manifesting you’re ready to move on to the next step.

Step 3: Energy: Every creation takes energy not only to come into existence but to stay in existence. Once you have a clear intention that is focused and empowered by a highly charged and positive attitude you will need to continue giving energy to your desired manifestation until it becomes a reality. This is done a in a very simple and straight forward manner. Each time you think of your intention, see your pictures that you have placed around or repeat your Statement Of Intention take a moment to allow your attitude load up and fill your whole body, as well. Take that emotional energy of the attitude and flood the images with more and more feeling. See the feeling pouring into the images making them brighter and sharper in clarity. See them becoming more real. Feel the reality of your manifestation as if it existed right now and feel how you would feel about it. This is the power of using your mind and body together to charge your intention with as much energy as possible. The bonus is that it will act like a feedback loop that will strengthen your intention, your attitude and give you more energy all at once. Challenge yourself by practicing repeatedly and see just how much fun you can have with this three step method for manifesting your intentions.

You will find that when you have done the previous steps you will begin to change. Your mental and emotional states will come into alignment toward your stated intention, as will your actions. You will even begin to find that the Universe will start supporting your desire by surrounding you with coincidences and synchronicities. Take advantage of those coincidences and synchronicities by recognizing them as signs that you are on the right track. Make the most of them. They are actually symbols by which the universe is giving you feedback on how to continue refining the process of your manifesting. They are also opportunities being provided to you for furthering your desires in ways you might not imagine. Take advantage of them and enjoy the journey into manifesting your intention with mastery!

A genuine sense of humor with an active imagination are two of the most valuable qualities you can possess as a human being. They allow you to find the funny in just about anything so you can laugh whenever you want.

When I’m having one of those really challenging days, there is one thing I find particularly helpful: I tell myself a joke. Not just any joke, but what I call The Great Cosmic Joke.

It goes something like this. The Creator says, “Billions of years ago, I created an infinite universe out of nothing, and somewhere along the way there formed billions of galaxies. There was one galaxy that formed called the Milky Way, and way out on the edge of one of the spiral arms of this galaxy there is a little solar system with a medium-sized star called the Sun and a tiny little blue planet rotating around it called Earth. Now somewhere on this Earth is a soul that I created and filled with the Divine spark who chose to incarnate and wear a bodysuit for a lifetime. Now he’s in the middle of one of those lifetimes – along with seven billion other souls, all coming and going – and he’s rushing around and fretting and thinking he’s very unhappy because he isn’t getting his way right now. Actually, though, he isn’t so unhappy as he is forgetful, because I have surrounded him everywhere and every moment with constant reminders that he is safe, he is not alone, and that the universe is a very funny place if only he will look.”

And then I look. I look down and see my body. I look at my hands and realize, “Oh yeah, that’s right. I chose this.” I remember I am a soul having a human experience, an infinite being that chose this again, a lifetime in the material world; to be shoehorned into another bodysuit that is always trying to keep itself together for a brief period of some eight to ten decades, if I’m lucky. I’m a soul in a special sort of shaved monkeysuit that is filled with holes and always huffing and puffing and sweating and farting and pissing and pooping and drinking and eating and fighting gravity just to maintain itself and stand upright, all so I can run around and play and learn the lessons to be able to understand more deeply, love more fully, accept Truth more completely, and share my gifts more freely with others without forgetting where we all really came from, the Creator.

And I laugh.

A friend of mine called me the other day asking for help. She was very upset and told me her pet cat hadn’t been seen in five days. She was concerned he might be lost or worse. He was an outdoor cat who, for the most part, came and went as he pleased, but  never stayed away for more than a day or so.

During the conversation she told me that she had always felt as if she had the ability to psychically communicate with animals and that her cat ‘talked’ to her on a regular basis, letting her know what he needed. If he were away she would receive images of him out and about. So, knowing he was safe, she would simply leave food by the patio door for him for when he returned. Having had my own share of psychic experiences during my life, I took her at her word.

I asked her to tell me exactly how she went about psychically communicating with her cat. She told me how she would relax, close her eyes, imagine connecting with her friend and then she would receive a flood of images from him.

She said, “He’s never been away this long and when I try to receive images from him I don’t get anything. I’m just so worried. I’m afraid something bad has happened to him. I don’t know what to do. I love him. If he’s moved on I want him to be happy. I just want to know if he’s safe or needs my help.”

“Have you asked him,” I said. “Why don’t you go to your bedroom and lie down. Close your eyes, relax and send him pictures wishing him well and ask if he needs your help. And don’t worry. Just trust whatever comes to you. Relax and send him a blessing”

She said she would try what I had said, thanked me and hung up the phone.

As I hung up the phone on my end I tried to intuitively sense where her cat was and how he was doing. I then sent her and her cat both a blessing.

The truth is there is no such thing as a separate object, event, or experience, because no part of the universe can exist apart from all others. When we are in a space of fear and worry, we fall prey to the illusion that we are separate. The more we fear, the more tense we are and the more alone and isolated we feel. From that space of believing we are separate we cannot experience the truth that we are all connected in ways we can scarcely imagine. Until we choose to change that belief and remove our self-imposed conditions of separateness we will only continue to see as we believe. As a result, we cannot connect with the more and greater part of ourself that would inform us otherwise until we finally relax and let go into the acceptance of the truth.

Two days later, she called again. I could hear the smile on her face. She said that on the evening after we spoke she had gone to bed and sent a query to her cat with a blessing. She told me how she had relaxed and sent a message that was without worry and filled with unconditional love for him. She simply wanted to know if he was alright. Nothing came to her that night and she fell asleep.

The next morning she awoke and while still in that drowsy, dreamy hypnogogic state between being awake and falling asleep the image of her cat popped in her mind along with a flood of images: keys, cages, a clinical setting with hard concrete floors. “At first I thought it was the vets, then it popped into my head, the animal control center,” she exclaimed. “I drove down there and that’s where he was, exactly like I saw it in my mind’s eye. Thank you so much for your help.”

I told her I was happy for her and that she and her friend were together again.

Believing is seeing. Our beliefs act as lenses or filters shaping all of our experiences in life. They are self-fulfilling prophecies to support the worldview of our ego. The universe merely seems to oblige, allowing us to have our experience of our belief, ‘our reality’, until we have learned and outgrown the game, and, hopefully, are ready to move on to another more empowering belief and worldview.

Perhaps that view might be that all creatures, great and small, are manifestations of the Creator. As manifestations of the Creator we are all connected by that which is Divine within each and everyone of us. Perhaps the greatest psychic network of all that allows us to reach out and truly connect with any other being is that energy which is the ultimate expression of the Creator, unconditional Love. Perhaps one way we do that is through the infusion of something with Divine Will, the giving and receiving of Blessings.

I was playing video games with my nephew on his birthday. We were soldiers of fortune in the future. Before starting the game, we both had time to design our own characters just the way we like. We each chose a name and then selected certain strengths and weaknesses based on personal preferences and prescribed limitations. We were then given a briefing on our mission ahead and then inserted into the game world. Our mission was to save the galaxy from the constant encroachment of some menacing alien horde. He had his character. I had mine. We were partners on the same team. We could operate together as a small unit helping one another or move in our own directions exploring different areas separately.

It was really quite amazing. But I was losing badly. Badly. Time after time, my man would get snuffed in some horrendous way, only to be brought back to life in the exact place where he left off and pick up the game again. My character usually bit the dust in the process of trying to overcome the latest hurdle or while learning some new skill. Eventually, at some point in the game, I ran out of men, and with no more lives left, I sat there sullenly watching my nephew save the galaxy on his own. It was frustrating and quite humbling to be so soundly outplayed by an 11-year-old boy. I began to notice how anxious I was becoming and a rising feeling of failure.

Finally, my nephew, sensing my distress, leaned over and grabbed my controller. Benevolently, he punched a series of buttons and said, “There.” As if by magic, my man suddenly reappeared, fresh and ready to play. “What’d you do?” My nephew, already off and running his character into the next alien gauntlet, said, “It’s a special code. Now you have infinite lives. Let’s play.”

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and took off after him, lasers blazing.

I don’t know why, but as we continued the game I kept hearing the last thing my nephew had said, “Now you have infinite lives. Let’s play!”

I noticed how all my anxiety and frustration had simply vanished.

And for some reason, I remembered the words of the French Christian mystic Tielhard de Chardin, “You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience.”

I laughed so hard I got killed again.

I realized that I had become so attached to my video game character immersed in a virtual world that I was getting upset as if it were ultimately real. I was forgetting all about the ‘me’ safely watching from outside the game with a controller resting in his hands.

As we kept playing, I noticed that with the knowledge that I had infinite lives, I played the game differently. I relaxed. I enjoyed myself more. I opened up and took more chances, more risks with less anxiety and frustration. I wasn’t as afraid of making mistakes or failing. In fact, in the grand scheme of the game I couldn’t fail, I could only learn and get better. I played to the fullest. If I got taken out, I didn’t sweat it. I simply got back in the game even more determined than before to overcome the next challenge. I and my character were seizing the day!

If we are spiritual beings having a human experience then life takes on an entirely different meaning. We live life from a different perspective. If we are infinite souls in beautiful human guise experiencing a wonderful teaching game called Life then our approach to everything becomes transformed. Our true reference point becomes one of spirit, and because you are a soul each new experience is seen as an opportunity for spiritual growth and learning.

The most revered mystics of the East and West for millennia have all been telling us same thing. Based on their enlightened meditations and dedicated explorations, all have come back with the same news: God is All, we are spirit, and the universe is an illusion, or Maya, a virtual reality created so that we may learn and grow and play. Even science, in the last several decades, especially with the discoveries of Relativity and Quantum Physics, has been begun to lean toward some similar conclusions.

As my nephew and I finished playing the game he turned to me and said, “Thanks for the gift. That was great!” I looked deeply at him and realized that he was just like me. He was a soul having a human experience. In fact, we were two souls sharing a human experience. Tonight he had been my friend, my partner and my teacher in more ways than one. He had helped me remember, and he had returned my gift with another even more wonderful offering in kind, a simple reminder: You have infinite lives. Let’s play! Namaste.

Funny isn’t born, funny is made. Many people believe the myth that you’re either funny or you’re not, and if you are then you were fortunate enough to be born with the funny gene. Nothing could be further from the truth. Quite simply, as human beings we become what we learn and practice, and we learn and practice what is meaningful and important to us until those things become qualities of our personality. Being funny is a unique quality that is composed of a special set of skills. And as a skill set, that means it can be learned and developed by first understanding the underlying principles of humor and comedy, and then practicing them until one has achieved a certain degree of proficiency or even mastery.

As an example, let me share with you how I learned to be funny. It’s one of my fondest memories. When I was a kid my dad would come home every night from work, and soon after, the family would sit down for dinner together. Then at some point during dinner my dad would tell a joke. We all knew it was coming at some point but never quite when, which was part of the fun, the delicious anticipation. Then, when we least expected it, he would surprise us with his latest joke of the day and give us all the gift of laughter. And we loved it.

Kids learn a lot about what’s important from their parents. I learned at an early age that having a sense of humor was a valuable quality to possess. Being funny got you attention while it made everyone else laugh and feel good, a win-win situation. Before long, I was telling friends at school the jokes my dad had performed the night before. It went over so well that I started memorizing jokes from joke books, stringing them together into a routine, and telling them to anyone who would listen. What I didn’t realize, though, was that during all that practice I was also unconsciously learning the “rules” for good comedy and making people laugh. I was learning to be funny.

As I got older, people would say things to me like, “Oh, you’re so funny. How’d you get so funny?” And since I honestly had no clue but felt like I had to come up with something clever I fell back on the old myth and would blurt out, “Guess I was just born that way.”

When I finally became a professional standup comedian in my early twenties and started performing in clubs around the country, people would often talk to me after the show and ask, “How do you come up with all those jokes?”  Again, being clueless, I’d look at them and say, “I dunno, guess I just think funny.” At which point they would look at me and say, “Huh,” then shrug and walk away in disappointment.

I was always shocked by their lack of response, and it really got to me. Coming up with jokes and finding the funny in things seemed like the most natural thing in the world. I couldn’t grasp how other people just didn’t get it. In fact, other people’s lack of understanding about how I did what I did and my inability to explain it to them caused me to become passionate about finally finding an answer.

For the past twenty years I’ve thought, read, analyzed, and studied this wonderful but nebulous quality, and tried to come to a deeper understanding of what it means to be funny and have sense of humor. The world can always use more laughter and no one should ever need to rely on others to find it. Most people have a much better sense of humor than they realize or give themselves credit for. But we can all learn how to make ourselves laugh even more, as well as, give the gift of laughter to others by understanding what it is that makes for a great sense of humor and how to be truly funny.

THINKING FUNNY

Thinking funny is a skill that can be learned just like any other. Essentially, what professional comedians or anyone else with a great sense of humor is doing when they  “think funny” is saying to themselves, “Show me the funny!” Funny people are always looking for whatever is humorous in a given situation, and they’ve been asking the question of “what’s funny” for so long until it is finally dropped out of their conscious awareness and become a part of their subconscious mind. Their subconscious is constantly in search mode for something to laugh about.

Reality is what you focus on. You don’t see the world as it is, you see the world as you are if you’re an optimistic “ glass is half full” person then what you focus on in life is the positive, what’s right with the world. Conversely, if you’re a pessimistic “glass is half empty” person you tend to focus on what’s wrong with the world. Funny people focus not so much on what’s right or wrong about the world, but on what is incongruent about a thing or experience.

The key to humor and comedy and finding what’s funny is finding what’s in congruent in any situation. Roget’s Thesaurus includes as synonyms for the word “incongruent” the following: paradoxical, observed, capricious, fickle, twisted, screwy, bizarre, contradictory, conflicting, juxtaposed, and unpredictable, just to name a few.

So, the root of all humor and comedy is ultimately what is incongruent.

Now, if we can get philosophical for just a moment, go a little deeper and look more closely, we find that what is incongruent isn’t the world so much as it is ourselves. The reason why is because we are finite beings, and as such we are incapable of perceiving everything at once. We can only perceive a small portion of Reality, and that portion we focus on is what becomes our “reality” in any given moment. And that’s where the comedy starts. Since we can’t take in everything we end up engaging in three kinds of mental processes to make sense of our experience: distortion, deletion, or generalization. These three processes are at the heart of humor and comedy because they’re all about incongruence. Most of the time were not consciously aware of this process at all, but comedians and people with a great sense of humor are. They’re always looking for what’s distorted, deleted, or being generalized where maybe it shouldn’t be. They’re looking for what’s incongruent.

Just look at some of the different forms of comedy and try and match up how they relate to incongruence, distortion, deletion, and generalization.

• Irony
• Sarcasm
• Whimsy
• Satire
• Camp
• Sardony
• Burlesque
• Deadpan
• Caricature

Finding what’s funny is a matter of holding the gem of experience in your hand and slowly turning it around to view it through the different facets until you finally find the one aspect that strikes you as humorous and makes you laugh. It’s merely a matter of getting good at reframing your experience. The trick is to keep doing it until it becomes second nature. That’s what ‘thinking funny’ is all about.

BEING FUNNY

Being funny is about Presence. Presence is a quality that while often difficult to describe or define is immediately obvious when we see or experience it. In it’s more positive aspect, it is often described as charisma or charm. It’s that magnetic quality an individual radiates and thereby draws the attention of others.

Presence is about identity. Whenever you are completely I-dentified with something you are it. Whatever it is, you don’t just believe it, you know it. It’s more than just a part of you. You and it are one. It is you. You don’t even think about it. It’s simply a given.

People who possess comedic presence and a great sense of humor don’t just believe they’re funny, they know they’re funny. Funny is a part of their being. There are literally “being funny”. Comedic presence is a kind of presence with a slightly different flavor. It feels light and playful yet confident. When we’re around someone who possesses comedic presence we find ourselves feeling much the same. We feel lighter, more playful, happier, and we laugh heartily and easily, because presence, like laughter, is wonderfully infectious.

If you think about and practice the ideas shared here you will find you more fully express the unique sense of humor that you already possess quite naturally. What makes you funny isn’t something outside you; it’s what’s inside you. The best advice I was ever given in comedy was, “Remember kid, it’s not the jokes, it’s you that’s funny.” The more you practice the more you will see your sense of humor grow until you experience the direct truth of that statement it’s not the jokes, it’s you.

Since everyone has a sense of humor, everyone is funny, and that means everyone has comedic presence, too. It’s merely a matter of recognizing that felt presence within – that light, playful, happy way of seeing and experiencing the world – and allowing yourself to tap into it. We all have many wonderful and humorous stories to share that are uniquely our own. And it is because we know them by our direct lived experience that we own them. They are our stories and no one else can tell them like we can. Be patient with yourself and make them your own. Feel free to experiment. Get curious and play with  your funny ideas, jokes and stories, Because play is just another way of saying experiment but with a lot more fun involved. It’s also a way of coming to know something more deeply, yourself. So enjoy and have fun because life’s too important to take seriously.

I went to the movies the other night with a friend. It was a film I’d been anxiously awaiting to see for some time. After settling in my seat, the lights went down, and the movie began. It wasn’t until a while later – when my friend laughed and nudged me for some popcorn – that I realized I’d forgotten all about her and the theater I was sitting in. It was as if I’d been drawn into a kind of trance and suddenly I snapped out of it. I was so engrossed in the story I was watching on screen that I forgot all about what was happening around me.

I started watching the movie again. This time I decided to try an experiment and look from a different perspective. I resolved to take a step back and remain consciously aware that I was sitting in a theatre watching a movie, and not allow myself to get sucked into the movie trance like I had before. What I realized as I sat there, was that I watching of a series of still pictures of actors in costumes pretending to be characters written by a person who made up a story that was being directed by another person. I was entranced by an illusion! However, it all happened so fast and was so compelling that I kept getting drawn back into the movie again and again, forgetting it wasn’t real.

I started thinking about how much being at the movies is like life. We are all creative artists, making movies in our heads every second that tell us the story of our lives. We are actor, writer, director and producer all rolled up into one person. So much of the time, though, the movie we make is so engrossing that we forget it isn’t reality. It’s just our perception. It’s a story we’re making up.

What happens is this. Your body has five senses that are constantly telling you about the world: sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. Your brain ‘makes sense’ of all this information by putting it together in the form of a little movie and, voila, you experience your reality.

In life, the real magic happens when you remember that you are always creating a story in your head based upon your perceptions, and it’s just that and nothing more. It’s a little movie telling you a story about your experience of yourself and the world. The story isn’t ‘true’, rather it’s just your perception at the moment. The beautiful thing is that if you don’t like the story you’re making you can realize it, change it, and start experiencing another movie.

The challenge is in remembering. Just like my experience in the movie theatre, we tend to get so caught up in our stories, so entranced in our daily dramas, that we forget we’re the one’s writing the script that we’re playing out!

As I sat in the theatre I suddenly recalled my father. I remembered when I was a little boy I wanted to go see the movie ‘Jaws’. My father didn’t want to take me because he knew it would probably scare me too much. I kept at him and finally we went. We sat together in the theatre and it wasn’t long before I was so scared I was ready to cry. Rather than us leaving, my dad simply turned to me and said, “Remember, it’s just a movie.” I tried it and it worked! I found that I could watch the movie without any trouble.

Whenever I started to get scared I would say to myself, “Remember, it’s just a movie.” After that, I was fine. In fact I really enjoyed myself.

Sometimes our habitual way of seeing things gets us caught up in a movie drama that doesn’t serve us or our highest fulfillment. Remember, you always have a choice. No matter what, you truly are the one who has control over how you see things. You are free to choose any way of looking at yourself and the world around you. The next time you’re having a ‘bad’ day, stop for a moment, take a step back, and remember, it’s just the movie you’re making about your day. What kind of movie is it? What’s the story? What’s the theme? Is it the kind you really want to be experiencing? The simple truth is that as long as you choose to stay stuck watching a habitual ‘bad’ movie that’s the reality you’ll be experiencing.

Once you realize that you have freedom to choose, you can make any movie you like.
In what ways can you ‘re-direct’ your movie so your perception changes? Remember you were born to play the role of your life. Do you want to play the victim, the villain, the hero? You can decide to make the film into something positive, powerful or even profound. Change the message. Maybe it’s a drama about how to find strength in adversity. Maybe it’s a thriller where anything can happen and you are anxiously awaiting the next amazing thing right around the corner. Maybe it’s a comedy where everything seems to be going wrong but it all works out at the end of the day.

I had gone to the movies that night to escape and get away from a really ‘bad’ day. Yet, my experience sitting in the theatre brought me back home to my life in a very personal and intimate way. It made me realize the lousy movie I’d been making all day. In fact I had walked in the theatre with it playing! However, when I left, I was playing a completely different movie.

Remember you have the power to change your perceptions and the way you see things at any time. Remember, it’s just a movie. You never know what the next scene may bring. The truth is that life is meant to be lived. The movie you choose to watch it as is up to you. So what do you choose?

The following is a brief humorous speech given at the National Speakers Association.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me ask you, what’s the one thing we all want most out of life? Happiness, right? Wrong. If I’ve learned anything in all my years as a de-motivational speaker and self-helplessness expert, it’s what people truly want…is to be miserable.

Now some of you may have read my many books like ‘The 7 Habits Of Highly Ineffective People’, ‘The Gentle Art Of Verbal Self-Abuse’, ‘Spanking Your Inner Child’, ‘What Color Is Your Pink Slip?’, ‘First Things Last: The One Minute Procrastinator’, ‘The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Self-Esteem’, ‘Which One Of You Stole My Cheese?’, or perhaps, my bestseller, ‘Chicken Pox For The Soul’.

I’m going to share a little secret. ‘Happiness’ is a lie. Why? Because it leads to being miserable, every time. Think about it. If you don’t get what you want what happens? You’re unhappy. And if you do? Well, soon enough you’re unsatisfied with what you do have and off chasing the next thing to make you “happy”. For too long we’ve been told the Pursuit Of Happiness will eventually lead to Happiness.

It’s time to stop fooling ourselves and face facts.

Now the number of people capable of making life miserable is already enormous, but countless others still need help. Anyone can be unhappy but to make yourself unhappy is a skill that needs be learned and practiced. Being miserable doesn’t just happen. You got to want it “BAD”. You gotta be willing to stomp your feet and cry, “No!” 24-7.

And that’s where my self-helplessness program comes in. ‘The Fifty Life Laws For Being A Miserable Failure’ cuts through the “happiness trap” so you can get down to the “real” business of being miserable. I call them “laws” because they sound very important, almost biblical. So if you break them, you’ll feel guilty!

Let me share a few with you, like…

Life Law # 1: Always Expect Life To Be Fair. The Universe is too big and Life too complicated to ever figure out, so try to control everything, and when things don’t go your way, realize it’s probably someone else’s fault and they really are out to get you.

Life Law # 17: Fill Your Life With Weapons Of Mass Distraction. Watch soap operas, listen to lots of bad pop music, and always compare your self-image to impossible-to-live-up-to media images.

Life Law # 39: Embrace your ‘Inner Victim’. Climb on the Drama Train! Hear the whistle blow “BOO HOO!” Look, it’s the little train that COULDN’T crying, “I think I CAN’T, I think I CAN’T.” All aboard the blue line! You’re taking the red eye to Pitysburg. We’ve got plenty of room for excess emotional baggage, so head on back to the dining car where they’re serving Sad Sack lunches with Poor Boy sandwiches, sour grapes and Spilled Milk.” Next stop Victimville!

And finally, let me leave you with the most important one of all…
Life Law # 50: Recognize the Evils Of Humor. Realize that a just few minutes of heartfelt laughter can ruin decades of hard won misery. A little humor is a dangerous thing, because being a miserable failure is no laughing matter.

Thank You and Good Night!